Making a Decision
If you’ve been processing with your Whole Self, you may be ready to bring it all together and consider your next step. Imagine you’re holding a map. It doesn’t tell you where to go, but it helps you orient yourself.
It's not about rushing you toward an answer. It's about giving you a map so you can find your way.
Whole Self as Map Key
Your Whole Self is your compass, guiding you as you look at each possible destination: Abortion, Parenting, and Adoption. Each destination represents a different region with its own terrain, challenges, and sources of support. You will be invited to stand briefly in each place and look around so you can consider each option from all angles.
Emotional
Relational
Practical
Physical
Spiritual
Click the tabs to explore each destination – Parenting, Abortion, Adoption.
As you consider each path toward the destination, simply ask: Can I imagine traveling this road? Notice which direction feels most aligned with your Whole Self and the future you can see ahead.
*If you already know that one destination is not something you would choose, you can set it aside. Focus only on the paths you are genuinely willing to explore.
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Parenting
Parenting
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and raising the child yourself.
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Abortion
Abortion
This decision includes ending the pregnancy through a medical or surgical procedure.
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Adoption
Adoption
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and making a plan for the child to be raised by another family.
Destination: Parenting
Imagine that Parenting is the place where you are standing. This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and raising the child yourself, either on your own or with support from family, friends, or a partner. It involves long-term responsibility, daily care, and shaping a child’s life and well-being over time.
Considering the Parenting Route
As you stand here, reflect on the following:
- What could daily life look like in this place? What sources of support would you need to make this possible? (Practical)
- What might you need in order to care for your physical health? (Physical)
- How does this destination intersect with your beliefs or values? (Spirituality)
- Who would you want to walk with you here, and if that support is not available, how does that affect this path for you? (Relational)
- After sitting with these questions, which emotions are coming up for you (excited, scared, curious, frustrated, etc.)? Do you notice any sensations in your body? Is there lightness or heaviness or something else? If so, what might that tell you? (Physical & Emotional)
- Which part of your whole self might need the most attention and protection here? (Integrative)
You’ve been exploring the option of Parenting through the five parts of your whole self.
You’ve noticed what feels tense and what feels steady or calm.
No option is perfect or meets every need. The next step is deciding which needs you can compromise on, which challenges feel workable, and which ones you cannot accept. From there, you can make a thoughtful, honest decision.
Based on what you’ve learned, can you see yourself choosing this path?
Abortion
This decision includes ending the pregnancy through a medical or surgical procedure. It involves medical care, legal considerations that vary by location, and emotional processing that can differ greatly from person to person.
Explore Abortion
Adoption
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and making a plan for the child to be raised by another family. It can involve choosing the adoptive family and deciding the level of ongoing contact, while allowing you to carry the pregnancy without taking on the role of parent.
Explore Adoption
Destination: Abortion
Now imagine yourself standing in the place of Abortion. This decision includes ending the pregnancy through a medical or surgical procedure. It involves medical care, legal considerations that vary by location, and emotional processing that can differ greatly from person to person.
Considering the Abortion Route
As you stand here, reflect on the following:
- What information and resources might you need in order to move forward on this path? (Practical)
- What feelings might this path relieve, and what feelings, if any, might it introduce over time? (Emotional)
- Who would you want to walk with you here, and if that support is not available, how does that affect this path for you? (Relational)
- How does this destination align or conflict with your beliefs and values? (Spirituality)
- Which part of your whole self would need the most care on this path? (Integrative)
- After sitting with these questions, which emotions are coming up for you (excited, scared, curious, frustrated, etc.)? Do you notice any sensations in your body? Is there lightness or heaviness or something else? If so, what might that tell you? (Physical & Emotional)
You’ve been exploring the option of Abortion through the five parts of your whole self.
You’ve noticed what feels tense and what feels steady or calm.
No option is perfect or meets every need. The next step is deciding which needs you can compromise on, which challenges feel workable, and which ones you cannot accept. From there, you can make a thoughtful, honest decision.
Based on what you’ve learned, can you see yourself choosing this path?
Parenting
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and raising the child yourself, either on your own or with support from family, friends, or a partner. It involves long-term responsibility, daily care, and shaping a child’s life and well-being over time.
Explore Parenting
Adoption
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and making a plan for the child to be raised by another family. It can involve choosing the adoptive family and deciding the level of ongoing contact, while allowing you to carry the pregnancy without taking on the role of parent.
Explore Adoption
Destination: Adoption
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and making a plan for the child to be raised by another family. It can involve choosing the adoptive family and deciding the level of ongoing contact, while allowing you to carry the pregnancy without taking on the role of parent.
Considering the Adoption Route
As you stand here, reflect on the following:
- What could life look like during pregnancy, placement, and afterward in this place? (Practical)
- What might this path ask of your emotional life over time? (Emotional)
- What might you need to care for your physical health on this path? (Physical)
- Where would support be strong, and where might it feel thin or uncertain? (Relational)
- How does this destination align or conflict with your beliefs and values? (Spiritual)
- Which part of your whole self would need the most care and support here? (Integrative)
- After sitting with these questions, which emotions are coming up for you (excited, scared, curious, frustrated, etc.)? Do you notice any sensations in your body? Is there lightness or heaviness or something else? If so, what might that tell you? (Physical & Emotional)
You’ve been exploring the option of Adoption through the five parts of your whole self.
You’ve noticed what feels tense and what feels steady or calm.
No option is perfect or meets every need. The next step is deciding which needs you can compromise on, which challenges feel workable, and which ones you cannot accept. From there, you can make a thoughtful, honest decision.
Based on what you’ve learned, can you see yourself choosing this path?
Abortion
This decision includes ending the pregnancy through a medical or surgical procedure. It involves medical care, legal considerations that vary by location, and emotional processing that can differ greatly from person to person.
Explore Abortion
Parenting
This decision includes continuing the pregnancy and raising the child yourself, either on your own or with support from family, friends, or a partner. It involves long-term responsibility, daily care, and shaping a child’s life and well-being over time.
Explore Parenting
Finding Your Bearings
You have now looked at the paths in front of you through your Whole Self. Take a moment to gather what you have learned.
You may notice that you feel more drawn toward one destination than the others, or that one path feels more imaginable or workable right now. That sense of learning matters. It is information.
You may also notice that certain paths would require you to consistently override or carry parts of yourself in ways that feel unsustainable, while others feel difficult but possible with the right support. That awareness matters too.
Bringing these insights together can help you feel more prepared to move forward, even if you do not yet have a final answer. Preparedness does not mean certainty. It means you understand what you can carry, where you would need support, and what kind of care your whole self would require on the path ahead. The goal of this work is not to force a decision, but to help you move forward with greater clarity, steadiness, and care for your whole self.
You may leave this section still thinking, needing more information, wanting to have conversations, or ready to take a next step. All of these are valid places to be.
Still Struggling?
This is really hard.
Let’s keep going with some more tips and exercises–you can do this alone or with a partner.
Dig into the Whole Self Approach
Every woman’s journey is unique. Our guided Whole Self approach helps you consider the emotional, relational, physical, practical, and spiritual dimensions of your whole self as you move forward.