This is really hard
Let’s keep going with some more tips and exercises–you can do this alone or with a partner.
It feels hard because it is.
There’s no perfect answer.
Even after reflecting deeply, it’s normal to still feel unsure. Some decisions are hard not because they are without consequence, but because they carry real weight and lasting implications.
This is not about finding a perfect answer. It’s about making a decision with honesty, awareness, and alignment with your deepest values and circumstances.
Wise Mind Approach
When we’re making big decisions, it’s easy to fall into all-emotion or all-practical thinking. Instead, try to find a balanced “wise mind” space—a place where both practical information and your emotions are valued. Remember that no single choice will completely satisfy every need or resolve every fear, and that’s okay.
Awareness of Influence
Notice whether past experiences or expectations from family, culture, or faith are influencing your thoughts. Some of these influences may no longer reflect who you are today, while others still may. Ask yourself which values and convictions are most honest and enduring to you, and let those guide your reflection and decision-making.
Gather Information and Challenge Fears
Fear can be powerful, especially when it’s based on uncertainty. Ask yourself, “Am I certain this will happen, or is it a fear of the unknown?” If there’s information you don’t have yet, try to gather it. Get clear on facts before basing a decision on worst-case scenarios.
Include Your Partner
One thing we learned in our research is that couples often struggle to have these conversations, and that disconnect can create tension. Both men and women described feeling like “they missed each other,” even though what they wanted most was connection and support. Working through these exercises—especially the Whole Self Approach, individually and together—and exploring where your values align and differ can help you navigate both connection and disagreement more deeply.
Try these reflection excercises
If you’re still feeling stuck, here are some practices that might help.
Final Thoughts
You are making the best decision you can right now, with the information, support, and resources you have. It may not feel perfect—but it can still be a decision you can walk forward in, knowing you did the hard work to get here.
Be gentle with yourself. This is only one chapter of your life, not the whole story.
Dig into the Whole Self Approach
Every woman’s journey is unique. Our guided Whole Self approach helps you consider the emotional, relational, physical, practical, and spiritual dimensions of your whole self as you move forward.
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